In a startup, conflicts are common. There are always opposing forces that need to be resolved in order to take a new course of action. A startup is always short on resources and the goals are huge, emotion and reason are also in conflict every day. We want to do the best for the company but at the same time follow our instinct as founders. The very decision to start a new company is the first conflict we encounter. If we were to make a rational and logical decision, we would surely conclude that it is a bad idea to be an entrepreneur; however, following our intuition and our emotions, we decide to take the least reasonable path and do it no matter what.
Innovation is also conflicting at its core: it comes to challenge what is established—breaking lots of rules and ways of doing things along the way—which essentially means generating conflict with the objective to end up better and stronger.
While conflict is a natural and necessary aspect of almost any relationship, it is often one that people seek to evade. It takes courage, commitment, honesty, and openness to pursue conflict in an effective manner. However, doing so allows you to identify the right course of action for the business and can be extremely productive in allowing your team to succeed.
If we accept that permanent conflict is common currency and desirable in a startup, then we have to agree that learning how to resolve conflicts is one of the most important skills for entrepreneurs. Teams differ enormously between those who take permanent conflicts in a healthy way and learn to navigate and resolve them, and those who avoid them, decide not to talk about what’s bothering them or let them problems burst until they cause damage, or even worst, it results in a few people taking much more responsibility than what it’s good for a healthy balanced power structure. Both behaviors are harmful to the company and its members.
Some of the tools I used in the past to address existing conflicts in teams include adding to the agenda questions about what we are not talking about, what we should address, and encouraging feedback between team members. I also define clear decision-making structures and mechanisms early on to encourage alignment of expectations. Working on self-esteem and knowing that our actions (the good ones and the mistakes) do not define us is very helpful as well.
Making decisions quickly and assertively without much debate is also a valuable and desirable skill when it comes to action-oriented teams. Being part of an executive team requires understanding who is responsible for each type of decision and accompanying the decisions of the other team members. However, this can be a source of conflict due to a lack of support among peers or because the decisions that are made are repeatedly incorrect without the possibility of being analyzed as a team in pursuit of speed. In this type of dynamics that we see a lot in highly executive teams formed by fast and independent people, it is necessary to know that when someone is not working, the person who is not performing must be removed fast from the position or the team. The right time to make that decision is usually sooner than one is usually willing to act.
The most powerful tools to resolve conflicts are dialogue and consensus. When the dialogue breaks, gets stuck, or doesn't flow, things get worse. However, not all moments help keep the dialogue flowing: distance, remote work, accumulated tension, and fatigue are factors that influence the team not being in a good moment for dialogue and communication. It's at such a time that leaders sometimes do their best to go their own way, taking over the reins of leadership. This can help the rest to move forward or get out of an impasse. One way to make progress in those moments of stagnation and take action despite not agreeing on opinions is the disagree and commit defined by Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon.
Being an entrepreneur is hard. There will always be difficult decisions and trade-offs that need to be made, but there's no surer way to promote creative problem solving, growth, and innovation than embracing conflict as a tool. In order to manage a conflict effectively, we must actively work through it and use it as a catalyst for growth. It takes time and effort, but the benefits of working through a problem with others is ultimately satisfying in many ways and lead to a sense of team cohesion that can only be achieved when individuals on a team feel they directly contributed to the solution.
Startup life is full of hard decisions and tough challenges. Conflict is an inevitability and an opportunity to grow as a team. We cannot change this; however, we can anticipate it, understand it and manage it. Not dealing with these conflicts doesn't make them disappear though - it just adds unnecessary stress to an already stressful existence. Therefore, leading in conflict is at the very least, how you'll learn how to do it better. You may even gain an understanding of yourself through your responses. More importantly, though, you'll gain the trust of the people around you, and it will make the team stronger.